I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
