this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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