You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
that's an acceptable place to lick
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
