i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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