He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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