Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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