Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
