Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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