Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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