She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
