Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
