Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
