the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
