My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
