Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Don't make out with my wife yet
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Girls should come with a carfax report
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
