Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
