Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
