yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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