Kiss
Puke
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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