My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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