i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
