don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
