he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
