All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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