he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
