Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
