I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
