I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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