It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
