Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
