If that was your dad, he is hot
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
