made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
