i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
