i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
