I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
