At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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