Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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