whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
