$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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