You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
