only if we run a train.
done.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
