conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
no you cant smoke seaweed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
