what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
