That's intense
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
