I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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