Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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