And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
