At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Your penis caused this!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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