She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
