once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
