I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
